Covenant Presbyterian Church

Thursday’s shooting at Northern Illinois University is another in a long line of unspeakable tragedies in our nation’s schools. I do not know where the final blame will be laid, but I am virtually certain that the combined forces of parental grief, public outrage, and political chicanery will produce shallow analysis, easy scapegoats, and more useless legislation. Authorities will quickly line up the usual suspects: lax gun laws, violence in the media, medication gone haywire, and lack of security on school campuses. There are legitimate responses, of course, to each of these softball culprits. Had students carried firearms, as the boys did for many decades, perhaps fewer would now be dead. Violence on television did not seem to drive our parents crazy, and many millions continue to soak up soldier movies and realistic video games without taking up arms against their fellow citizens. Medication, especially behavior control substances for boys, has played a factor in the lives of all the student assassins that have roamed our nation’s educational institutions, but this is a byproduct of a deeper, more insidious agenda. Yes, we could place the nation’s colleges under the control of local or federal law enforcement agencies, but would it not be an admission of worldview defeat for our supposed citadels of free thought to be placed under martial law? Since I truly sympathize with the growing number of families that has been caught up in these escalading episodes of violence, I am not content with these culprits. In fact, when these culprits are lined up, it is simply an attempt to hide the real culprits and advance cultural agendas by distracting the public.

A less obvious culprit comes to my mind: feminism. Beginning in the sixties and seventies, the American public has been bombarded with this destructive philosophy. There is a direct correlation between feminism and divorce, feminism and sexual perversion, and feminism and broken boys. I would call your attention especially to the issue of boys. Feminism institutionalizes the idea that there is a problem with boys as boys. The problem with boys is that they will grow up to be men, and unless their tendencies toward courage, leadership, and authority are broken early, the feminist agenda cannot be realized. Thus, they are placed in school settings that are designed for girls: no running and jumping, hitting or fighting, just sitting all day with few outlets for their God-ingrained love for adventure, physical activity, and energetic outbursts. Whatever one may think about the proper way to do "schooling," schooling, as conceived by today’s self-professed sociological savants, is not education. It is societal control driven by a revolutionary agenda: the dethronement of God-ordained male leadership in the home and society, the institutionalization of ignorance, and the taming of men.

But this is not the complete ugly truth. When boys act like boys, they are drugged. This is not to say that boys do not need to learn self-control and be given outlets for their high energy pursuits. Most of the millions that are drugged do not need medication; they need fathers to teach them self-control, provide discipline, and provide energy outlets. Yet, this brings us to another insidious lie of feminism. The radical feminists tell us that children, especially boys, really do not need fathers. A growing list of books actually advocates the idea that mothers are better fathers than fathers. Feminists loathe the presence of strong male leadership in the home, and they lay the blame for the bulk of our society’s problem on patriarchal family models. It is compelling, however, that when fathers were present in the home, these episodes did not occur. And there is a reason. Fathers were the natural recipients of their sons’ energy. Being grown-up boys themselves, they understood that boys need physical outlets: hard, physical work, rough-housing, and sports. There is nothing wrong with boys when they want to run and play, shoot guns, or play tackle football. Not all boys are equally interested in these things, to be sure, but most are. To medicate them for being boys is not only evil, but it is also a manifestation of a deeper social agenda: the death of boy-ness leading to the end of male leadership in the home, church, and state.

And so, boys are broken. If they struggle to sit still in school, they are described as disinterested and labeled as behavioral problems. They are diagnosed. One boy in a California school was recently disciplined for running during recess, yes, running. It seems that running can be dangerous and has been prohibited on school grounds. If they do not act like girls, in other words, they are guilty of manifesting anti-social tendencies. Do you not think that boys are internally aware of the fact that the cards are stacked against them? This frustration is then intensified by anti-depressants, a constant barrage of sexually charged information that they are emotionally unable to handle, and an educational paradigm that castrates their maleness in favor of the regime of feminist social agendas.

Then, surprise, surprise, a few take up guns and begin shooting. I cannot justify their actions morally or legally, of course, but I am certain that school violence is not so much directed against individuals as against a system that is institutionally designed to force conformity and to destroy their masculinity. It is no wonder that rebellion, drugs, and even violence are preferable to the many daily reminders that boys are inferior to girls, that there is something wrong with boys, and that boys are failures - unless they become like girls. I also suspect that this is an indirect reason for the rise of homosexuality, albeit a twisted one. Lacking the spiritual wherewithal to "beat the system," many choose simply to convert - to become passive and effeminate, eunuchs to feminism.

Feminism, of course, is the burn-out, social theory of political and moral lesbianism. As such, it is sterile and cannot last forever. With respect to education, it is regularly and artificially inseminated by billions of government dollars, new federal educational programs, and an alternating message of "fear" (schools are failing) and "faith" (schools are wonderful). This will keep the system running for a while, but its products are increasingly unable to read and write intelligibly, relate to the opposite sex apart from sex, or practice self-control. We could just let the dead bury their dead, but many believing families are caught up in this system. They watch their boys being broken. It is time for healing.

First, for a variety of theological, ethical, and practical reasons, Christian families should depart from the temples of feminist ideology, i.e., the government schools. It is true that some are able to survive, but who can estimate the long-term damage to their spirits and their spirituality - not to mention the years wasted being force-fed an anti-Christ, anti-God, and anti-life ideology? The only way to defeat this system is for Christian families to pursue covenant education, in the context of the Christian home and church. For the sake of our boys, and, therefore, for the sake of our families, we must not consign them to being laboratory experiments for the radical ideology du jour. Second, Christian education must take seriously the differences between boys and girls. There is core knowledge that both sexes requires if they are to be useful image-bearers and dominion-takers. Yet, we need to do a better job giving boys outlets for their masculinity and energy. The physical strength and skills they gather as boys will enable them to be better leaders, protectors, and providers for their future families.

And this leads me to fathers. In our society, only thirty-four percent of children are now raised with both birth-parents living in the home. Translation: two-thirds of boys lack daily interaction with their fathers. They may see men occasionally, but they are too often their mothers’ live-in lovers or boy-toys. Thus, divorce is more than a tragic statistic; it is a cancer eating away at the heart of our future. Christian fathers, you are a rare breed. But consider this: you are poised to shape the future, to turn boys into men. Love them. Let them be boys. Play with them. Let them use their burgeoning strength wrestling with you. Because you are physically stronger, you can both be a punching bag and a lesson in self-control. Discipline them. Show them there are necessary boundaries beyond which they cannot pass. If they speak disrespectfully to their mothers or hit their sisters, let them know in physical terms that this is not manly. It is cowardly. I will never forget the only time my father committed what would now be classified as an act of "abuse" against me. At about fourteen, I said something smart-alecky to my mother. I suddenly found myself punched or slapped, I cannot remember which. But I can still feel the sting. I learned then and appreciate now that being a man means there limits by which I must abide - to be a man, to be a Christian, to be a servant-leader of women.

Fathers, you must give your boys a vision of biblical masculinity. I would suggest, again, hard work, being a servant in the family, teaching them finance and economics, and constantly placing before them the example of the ultimate man, the God-man, Jesus Christ. Notice several facets of his manliness. He knew how to do without necessities, must more luxuries. He had nowhere to lay his head. The imitation of Jesus Christ thus leads to self-denial, embraces long-term blessing as more important than immediate gratification, and empowers self-controlled contentment through faith in the providence and provision of our heavenly Father. He knew the proper way to treat women: compassionate, kind, respectful, chaste, as sisters rather than sex objects, as the weaker vessel to be led through service rather than manipulated through violence and arrogance. He also related well to men. Men felt comfortable talking to him about the deepest concerns of their heart. And he could be confrontation, very confrontational. To those harming God’s people by their religious tyranny, leading them astray by lies, and manifesting no true concern for the weak, he was unflinchingly courageous. Real men stand against evil. But above all, he showed that the recovery of true manhood absolutely requires consecration to doing the will of God. One cannot be a man without sacrifice and submission in serving God. Present this, fathers, against the metro-sexual, soft, narcissistic, and sterile view of manhood that is dominant in our culture.

Much more can be said, but I will mention only one other area. You must communicate with boys affectionately. A wise man once said that "rules without a relationship lead to rebellion." You can have great theology, a firm hand, and family devotions. This may control them while they are little, but they will not find these attractive if they receive no love, words of encouragement, and masculine affection. Boys need love - tangible, verbal, and physical love. While not justifying the immorality of today’s young people, which is far more prolific than we can imagine, it is certain that boys are looking for love, for someone to listen to them, for someone to show them legitimate love. If you do not give it to them, do not be surprised if they look for in the wrong places. You must, fathers, spend regular time with your boys. Have a hobby together. Play games. Wrestle. I know you are tired after a long day’s work. You must remember, however, that you are seeking to woo and win a boy, not train a dog. Boys are people, little men. They need affirmation, guidance, and compassion.

Among the many precious memories I have of my own father, two stand out with such vividness that even now I can feel and see them as if I was enjoying them at this moment. When the weather was agreeable, I would anxiously await my father’s return from home with glove, bat, and ball in hand. I would give him five minutes, maybe ten. For the next hour or so, he would hit me fly balls. It was a contest of strength - could he hit them farther than I could run them down? When my interest in basketball developed, one summer he built a concrete court in the backyard. For the next three years, until his death, it was the goal of my life to beat him in one-on-one. Looking back, I know that he did not always feel well. He was often in pain. He did this for me. I hear his voice calling me to do the same with my son - play ball, games, Ping-pong, whatever. Build that relationship. The covenant is on the line. A Christian man is in the making. Can God work apart from my efforts? Absolutely. Can he overcome my selfishness, self-absorption, too-long hours? Certainly. But God’s providence usually works through means. And if we would raise unbroken boys, it will likely be through the means of committed, caring, and compassionate fathers, who see in that little boy an opportunity, a man in the making, an image-bearer watching his daddy to see how to be a man.

I am persuaded that daddies will beat feminists every time. The bond between father and son, if treasured, nurtured, and developed, is simply too strong. God works through fathers. I still feel the bond, twenty years after my father’s death. Children may wander for a time. We cannot be romantic about the very real struggle that young men face in the world. But the smiling face of a father, his encouraging words, his life of simple dedication to God, is simply too powerful for most boys to resist. This is the way God made us. He has determined to capture boys through their fathers. This is the way he captured you - through his fatherly love, a warm relationship, the sacrifice of his Son, patient discipline, and constant encouragement along life’s difficult way.